Perhaps you’ve come across the term “soft swinging” and found yourself wondering what it actually means. That’s understandable, as it’s not as niche as it once was. Influencer Taylor Frankie Paul, a prominent figure in the Mormon MomTok community with over 4 million TikTok followers, sparked widespread interest and controversy when she revealed that she and her ex-husband had engaged in soft swinging with their couple friends.
While Paul’s confession certainly caused a stir, her later admission that she broke the agreement and cheated led to salacious takes that some might say undermined the swinging community once more in mainstream media.
@nickviall @Taylor Paul gives the full story of the soft swinging scandal 🎧 #viallfiles EP 803 #taylorfrankiepaul #secretlivesofmormonwives #hulu #realitytv #momtok #mormon ♬ Boundless Worship – Josué Novais Piano Worship
But enough about Taylor.
Of course, we wish her the best, but fundamentally, she’s not the ideal representation of the swinger community.
Let’s take a closer look at soft swinging.
What Is Soft Swinging?
Soft swinging refers to couples engaging in sexual activities in the same room as another couple, without swapping or sharing partners. It allows couples to explore intimacy in a shared space while maintaining exclusivity with their own partner.
For many, soft swinging is seen as a gentle introduction to the swinger lifestyle. It gives couples the chance to experience the excitement of the scene without diving into the more complex (but potentially rewarding) aspects of engaging with other parties. At its core, soft swinging is about building comfort, fostering communication, and developing confidence.
While Taylor Frankie Paul’s public dramas may have brought the term into the spotlight, she didn’t invent it. Soft swinging has been a part of the swinger community for decades, offering couples a way to explore new levels of trust and connection in their relationships.
And this is where the real story lies. Soft swinging absolutely requires couples to communicate and establish boundaries. This means discussing desires, setting limits, and ensuring both partners are on the same page. In fact, this emphasis on communication and boundary-setting is the essence of soft swinging, as it gently introduces couples to the framework of traditional swinging. Understanding and respecting each other’s needs is not just a part of soft swinging but a cornerstone of any open relationship.
Who is Soft Swinging Right For?
Soft swinging is ideal for couples who are curious about the swinger lifestyle but want to ease into it gradually. It’s a way to test the waters without diving straight into partner swapping, allowing couples to explore the dynamic in a controlled and less intense setting.
One of the key benefits of soft swinging is that it provides a safer space for couples to identify and address potential relationship challenges. If issues arise before, during, or after a soft swinging session, they can be tackled without the complications that might come with fully engaging with other partners. This makes soft swinging an excellent stepping stone for building trust, strengthening communication, and gauging comfort levels.
Soft swinging also gives couples valuable insights into the hurdles they might encounter if they choose to progress to more traditional swinging. For instance, it can help reveal feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or discomfort that may need to be addressed. By working through these emotions in a soft swinging setting, couples are better prepared for the complexities of swapping partners down the line.
Ultimately, soft swinging is for couples who want to take things slowly, prioritise their relationship, and ensure they’re both fully comfortable with each step they take in the lifestyle. It’s not about rushing into anything but about creating a foundation of trust and understanding that supports a positive experience for both partners.
Charles Lace is a distinguished UK-based writer, born in 1975 in Brighton, who has become a prominent voice in the open relationship and swinger communities. His passion for exploring and documenting alternative lifestyles, particularly in the UK, has made him a well-known figure in these circles.
After studying Creative Writing at the University of East Anglia, Lace began his career as a freelance journalist for London newspapers. In his late 20s, he found his niche writing about non-monogamous relationships and the swinger lifestyle. His breakthrough came in 2005 with the publication of “Open Hearts, Open Doors: An Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamy,” which became an unexpected bestseller in its niche.
Known for his frank yet sensitive approach, Lace’s writing style combines personal anecdotes with well-researched information and expert interviews. He regularly contributes to various swinger publications, most notably through his column in “Lifestyle Horizons,” a popular UK-based magazine for the swinger and polyamorous communities.