magine waking up to messages threatening blackmail or demanding money from someone you thought was a genuine connection. It sounds like the sort of thing that only happens to others, doesn’t it?
But catfishing can happen to anyone, including those navigating open relationships. In fact, people in open lifestyles may be deliberately targeted, as catfishers often assume you’ll be more discreet and less likely to share details with friends or family about, say, being in a swinger relationship.
In this blog, we’ll explore what catfishing is, how to steer clear of it, and why it can be particularly risky for those in open relationships. Stay tuned for some tips to keep yourself safe while navigating the modern dating world.
What is Catfishing
While we’ve touched on it briefly, it’s worth ensuring you have a clear understanding of what catfishing entails. Put simply, catfishing is when someone fabricates an online identity with the intent to deceive others. The ultimate goal? To scam unsuspecting individuals who show interest in their profile, whether that’s for financial gain, emotional manipulation, or worse.
Catfishing is so big it even has it’s own show on MTV with a pretty large following. And of course, we can’t leave Doctor Phil out of the dramas.
Where Does Catfishing Happen?
Catfishing can take place on any platform designed to connect people—social media, dating apps, or even forums. If it’s an online space where relationships or interactions are fostered, it’s a potential hotspot for catfishing.
Identity Theft
A catfisher might gather personal information, such as your birthday or location, or even use your photos to create fake profiles elsewhere.
Customised Lures
They could craft a profile designed to appeal specifically to your interests or lifestyle, making it easier to build trust.
Fake Careers
Some catfishers claim impressive-sounding jobs to boost credibility or lure you in with tales of success.
Blackmail Attempts
In more sinister cases, a catfisher might coax embarrassing personal information from you, only to use it against you in a blackmail attempt.
While catfishing can occur in any type of online environment, it presents unique challenges for those exploring open relationships. Let’s delve into why this is particularly concerning for people in these communities.
Catfishing and Swinger Dating
Catfishing thrives in environments where people may be cautious about disclosing their personal details. For example, let’s say you frequent swinger clubs like Le Boudoir or Hellfire, and you don’t want anyone to know, the catfisher could leverage pics you’ve sent from there, or just use the knowledge that they know you attend parties there, to extort you.
Open relationship and swinger dating fit a dynamic that appeals to catfishers making it a fertile ground for deceitful behavior. Here’s why:
Desire for Privacy
People in open relationships often value discretion, especially if their lifestyle isn’t widely accepted in their social circles. This preference for privacy can make it easier for catfishers to operate, as individuals may be less likely to cross-check details or seek verification of someone’s identity.
Curiosity and Vulnerability
Open relationship dating attracts people exploring new experiences or navigating complex emotions. For someone new to the lifestyle, curiosity might outweigh caution, making them more vulnerable to trusting a fabricated persona.
Tailored Manipulation
Catfishers often design their fake profiles to align with the interests or desires of their target. In open relationship dating, this might include portraying themselves as someone open-minded, adventurous, or in a similar relationship structure, which can quickly foster a false sense of connection.
Stigma and Fear of Exposure
The stigma surrounding open relationships can be exploited by catfishers. For example, someone might use the threat of exposure to friends, family, or colleagues as a means of blackmail, knowing the target might be too embarrassed or fearful to report the situation.
Quick Guide: How to Prevent Catfishing
- Verify Their Identity
Use video calls early in your conversations to confirm they match their photos and profile details. This is one of the top ways to out a catfisher, they rely on avoiding video. - Check Their Social Media
Look for consistent activity and connections on their social media profiles. A lack of posts or connections can be a red flag. See if any of their connections appear authentic. - Be Wary of Too-Good-to-Be-True Stories
If their life sounds perfect or overly dramatic, it might be fabricated. Look for inconsistencies in their claims. - Avoid Sharing Personal Information
Never disclose sensitive details like your address, workplace, or financial information too soon. This is the recipe for someone stealing your identity or even blackmailing you. - Use Reverse Image Searches
Upload their profile pictures to tools like Google Images or TinEye to see if they’ve been used elsewhere online. You might find them attached to different names. - Ask Specific Questions
Test their responses by asking about details they’ve mentioned before. Catfishers often struggle to maintain a consistent story. They also like to live in a vague world. Drill them down, politely, and see if red flags arise. - Watch Out for Avoidance Behaviour
Be cautious if they continually dodge opportunities to meet in person, have video calls, or provide proof of their claims. - Stick to Reputable Platforms
Use dating apps and websites with robust identity verification processes designed for open relationships. For example, our Group Fun UK swinger community is well-known and we take precautions to help ensure legitimate profiles. - Trust Your Instincts
If something feels off, it probably is. Take a step back and assess the situation critically before proceeding further.
Conclusion
Don’t let catfishing scare you away from exploring the swinger lifestyle. Following basic rules and guides can help you stave these attempts off. Unfortunately, catfishers seek the easiest targets, making anything you do helpful in prevention.
Charles Lace is a distinguished UK-based writer, born in 1975 in Brighton, who has become a prominent voice in the open relationship and swinger communities. His passion for exploring and documenting alternative lifestyles, particularly in the UK, has made him a well-known figure in these circles.
After studying Creative Writing at the University of East Anglia, Lace began his career as a freelance journalist for London newspapers. In his late 20s, he found his niche writing about non-monogamous relationships and the swinger lifestyle. His breakthrough came in 2005 with the publication of “Open Hearts, Open Doors: An Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamy,” which became an unexpected bestseller in its niche.
Known for his frank yet sensitive approach, Lace’s writing style combines personal anecdotes with well-researched information and expert interviews. He regularly contributes to various swinger publications, most notably through his column in “Lifestyle Horizons,” a popular UK-based magazine for the swinger and polyamorous communities.